I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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