I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
honey bunches of taint.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
