I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
