I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and she was petting her beer can
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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