If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
