just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
