I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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