Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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