I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
