I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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