brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
