is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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