Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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