We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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