I wannas sexs uuuuu
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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