Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
