I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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