We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
