is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
