I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
