ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
