is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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