I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
