Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
