You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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