Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
