..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
