she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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