My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize