Small penises have feelings too.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
