We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize