Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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