DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
