Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
