Soap is not a condiment
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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