I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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