We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
