we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
