U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
