i just wanna soil my oats bro
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
