Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
