I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
