Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
