i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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