I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
