and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
