Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the condom got lost in my hair
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
