I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
