You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
