make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
