Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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