This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
