Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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