my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
