The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
