Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
