I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
